My Personality Disorder.. Ahem!

Of all the madness which resides inside my petty soul the one which drives me craziest is my desire to prepare for the worst... all the time.. naah almost all the time.. okay a lot of times! I know I know, a lot of you out there feel exactly the same way; but it's crazy even thinking you can one up life at giving surprises.. so yes as always Life has the last laugh. My friends actually say that I am a very sorted kind of person, I usually already know exactly what I wanna do which of course is natural when you spend so much grey matter drawing up life grids in your head.. now what's a life grid???

A written version of it would look somewhat like this:

(Situation 1, Person 2): (Action B, Reaction G)

But guess what happens Life gives me Situation 12001 when I have been able to think about only 12000; and bam all my life grids blow up in my face and then oh boy do I lose my bearings. My brain goes into turbo mode trying to draw up a life grid for this one but all that happens is... BURN-OUT!

Hence Advise to myself: Sometimes it's important to let go and go with the flow. To not judge, to not react, to not control, to not think but to just breathe and take in life leisurely.. like lying on the grass on a lazy winter afternoon, or warming your hands on a warm cup of tea as the rain pelts on the window panes and melts into silver drops... slowly letting life flow through you, not challenging life but letting life lead you by hand, and take joy in the many blessings which surround us always.

"God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, ie., everybody, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”